Weekly check-in #6

In which I reflect on some hard stuff and good stuff in my week, with the hope of just maybe figuring out where all that time goes to.

The hard stuff

Feeling aimless

I’m not sure whether I’m still adjusting to not working full-time, but I’ve been having real trouble getting motivated this week. I think I’ve realised that quitting my job was only half the battle, and the other half is filling the gap with work that is everything I want it to be (or at least a few of those things). Fulfilling, creative, enjoyable, meaningful, does-good-things-for-the-world, and maybe even pays money so I don’t go broke and insert-disaster-scenario-here. I have a way to go yet. But I think I’m making progress.

The good stuff

Disentangling the new-business-idea-every-week pattern

This pattern has had a long history. I’ve struggled with persistence and commitment for years. If you’ve been following the weekly check-ins, you’ll know that I tend to hop between business ideas pretty frequently. Which is a problem when I just want to settle down, focus, and actually finish something for once.

I’ve been playing around with the approach that Havi shares on The Fluent Self and in her products for investigating where these patterns come from, getting to know why they’re here and finding a resolution for them. I started investigating this pattern by thinking of the cause of my behaviour as a fear. And importantly, thinking of this fear as a self-constructed means of protecting myself from something.

When I looked into it, I found that my fear was trying to protect myself from failure. I have a pretty long string of failed business projects, but I hadn’t realised it was a big deal for me. But even more important than failure was my fear’s mission to protect me from unenjoyable work. If I’m going to fail, I might as well enjoy doing so, right?

I had a chat with my fear, and we agreed that I can’t guarantee success, but I can do a pretty good job of keeping my work enjoyable. So we focused on that bit as the important bit and let the fear-of-failure slide for the moment.

The way this fear is protecting me is by preventing me from committing to an idea and persisting with it unless I make sure the work starts off enjoyable and stays that way. And I think I can manage that. I’ll watch myself and take some time out when I need it to make the work fun again.

It’s early days yet, but I’m hopeful that this pattern is on the mend. I’ve got a much clearer picture now of how it’s operating. Hopefully we’ll be seeing some finished projects in the not too distant future. :)

Little things

There’s a few things that I enjoy pretty frequently, but I don’t often stop to feel thankful for.

I still have a motorbike! And it still works! (even better than when I got it after I got it serviced last week). Oftentimes I’ll arrive somewhere with a bit of a buzz after the ride. It sure beats buying a car or catching busses everywhere.

Running. I haven’t been running as much as I’d like to recently, but when I do I feel so much better for it. I’m not sure why, but while I’m running I seem to be able to organise my thoughts and think much more clearly. I think it might be time to start experimenting with going running at different times of the day (currently I just run in the evenings) to see if I can find a time that I won’t miss.

Writing. It’s great just going through the process of writing this and working on explaining something to someone else instead of just writing to myself. It takes time (the above item took nearly an hour to write and edit), but it’s worth it to sort things out in my head and to actually share them.

That’s all from me!

How was your week? Let us know how you’re going in the comments!

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One Response to “Weekly check-in #6”

  1. Luke
    6 April 2009 at 15:06

    I’m thinking of rocket-jumping off the daylight savings change and changing my wakeup time to 5am. 1 hour to read my Bible (which I really want to finish some day), 1 hour attacking my Special Project (which I really want to finish some day), 40 minutes to get to work and 20 minutes for breakfast, all before anyone else even shows up. The meetup thing with Jack and you might need to be shifted to the afternoons to suit this totally awesome plan (plus that’d give us more than 20 minutes to do anything).

    Luc

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