Working with (not against) life

[Note: Need some help with some web coding work? I'm running a 25% discount on freelance web coding for June.]

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Steve’s post on problem solving. His basic premise is that life’s problems aren’t there to make things difficult for you, they’re there to help you grow. I have a habit of trying to avoid facing my problems, or of trying to get them out of the way so that I have a nice, clean, problem-free slate.

There stands the dilemma: there will always be problems, and if I hold a mindset that doesn’t engage with them and work with them as a matter of course, I’ll be doomed to continually experience the same problems, and feel perpetually frustrated about my situation.

I’ve thought about it, and I think there are two main attitudes we can take towards life’s problems: resentment and gratitude. Let’s explore each of these mindsets.

Resentment

When we resent problems, we wish they weren’t there in the first place. We might, at best, grudgingly accept that they’re here, and gather the energy to get off our ass and fix them so that we can go back to being comfortable again.

This attitude is not very effective though. We build up some energy to get things fixed, then sink back down into comfort and lethargy. There’s no chance to build momentum. We’re fighting against life’s problems instead of working with them. They’ll always be a thorn in our side, and we won’t make much progress if we hold this mindset.

Gratitude

The alternative mindset is gratitude. Instead of seeing problems as, well, problems, we look at the positive side. By solving problems, we start to engage with life. We’re more involved and more alive. By solving problems, we stop avoiding and start walking the path to what we really, truly want, and we become stronger along the way.

This mindset requires a huge step up in energy. Instead of occasionally getting the energy together to fix things up, we continually operate at this level.

Being willing to face and work through our problems allows us to do truly amazing things. Just about any desirable goal is going to present obstacles along the path, and we simply can’t reach our goals unless we can work through these.

With this mindset, we are working with life, not against it. We see that life gives us these challenges to broaden our horizons, to help us become stronger, and so that we can live the bold and adventurous life that we truly want to live. Life is not about getting rid of problems and vegging out. It’s about taking initiative, setting our own course, following it and really Living Fully along the way.

This shift, from resentment to gratitude, is a quantum leap. Before it, the world is against us. After it, we understand how the world works and why. We accept the challenge and summon the energy to begin engaging with our problems instead of running and hiding from them.

What do we do about all this?

Well, that’s quite a challenging question (a healthy challenge ). I’m going to throw some ideas out there, and we’ll see how they turn out.

I reckon a viewpoint shift comes first. First you need to see the benefits of solving a problem. But that’s not enough, because at that stage you’re still trying to get rid of the problem. You need to be grateful that you ever got the problem in the first place. I have, posted on the wall above my desk, this affirmation:

“I feel only gratitude for the challenges that life presents to me.”

I’m hoping that by continually reminding myself of this mindset, I’ll be able to notice when I’m resenting problems, and look at the situation from a different angle.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you have some awesome tricks for getting out of resentment? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Does this post strike a chord with you? Subscribe to my feed and we can hang out some more.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like...

• My goals for November 2008 to February 2009

This entry is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or Trackback from your own site.